Some Overdue Spiritual Influence

Doubtless to the disappointment of our peculiar readership, but because of the day, our theme will be secular affairs, and purely ecclesiastical subjects will have to wait for another.

Not that Trespassers W, our latter-day Dr Codex, has not been busy in the internal affairs of the Church. Time would fail me to tell of the preferments of the Bishop of Stockport and Canon White (for those who like that sort of thing), of Prebendary Thomas (for those who really don’t) and of Farther North (so good they nominated him twice), of the Archdeacon of Hackney (for those who don’t think suffragan bishops really count; by far the soundest proposition on offer). And words fail me (because of excitement, of course) to tell of the Bishop of Islington (for those who think the Church of England needs more small under-resourced organisations) and the Bishop of Richmond (because if episcopacy is good, even more episcopacy must be better).

Ladies of Ill Repute and of Good Repute

When I was a child my father did a lot of travelling on business (yes, we defenders of privilege at Plumstead Rectory spring from the commercial classes). At that time hotels were very vigilant about guests entertaining visitors in their rooms, whether from moral or financial motives, or both. It was not uncommon for the manager to call round late at night, asking sternly “have you got a woman in your room, sir?”

My father maintained the theory that there were two classes of hotel for business travellers: the better sort, where if one answered “yes” to this question the lady would be asked to leave, and the seedier sort, where if one answered “no” a lady would be thrown in.

Posing as a Jacobite

In the life of every blog there comes the time to do some navel-gazing theological reflection, reviewing the subject-matter and reach of the site, and developing some conclusions. This is, we suppose, a largely fruitless as well as a self-absorbed tradition, but we are not in the business of questioning tradition here.

We advertise our letters as containing Anglo-catholicism, reaction and whimsy; but like all Church of England publications we actually cover mostly the gays, internal church politics, and nostalgia for an impossibly golden age. For most Anglicans this utopia is the 1950s: for us, true to form, the 1670s. Or possibly the 1630s. Certainly not the 1650s, though.

Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride of Christ

Followers of the odder doings of the Church of England have to run to keep up at the moment. Yesterday, while we were considering restructuring for mission, the House of Bishops was getting on with the core business of the Church: tinkering with her own internal workings. 

Small-Town Richard III

The Church of England, desperately out of touch as always, is spending all its energy today debating women and banking, and failing to make any comment on the real concerns of modern people, such as the reburial of kings – a subject which, to be honest, should play right to our strengths. 

So-Called Anglicans to Watch in 2013

The quasi-traditional list of ten:


Firstly, in the House of Bishops:

10. The Master of Magdalene

Retired archbishops' opinions are, of course, always listened to with much more interest and attention than serving ones'. Dr Williams, we are sure, will blossom during 2013, and we look forward to his contribution to the church's task of undermining Dr Welby. We predict that when the latter is forced into retirement the Master will still be young enough for a comeback tour, and expect him to be reappointed to Canterbury, fully refreshed, in about 2020.

Promotion Cometh Not For The North

We were surprised and saddened to hear the news that the Revd Philip North has withdrawn his acceptance of the post of Bishop of Whitby, citing the divisiveness of the current debate about women bishops. Farther North commented:

in the light of the recent vote in the General Synod and having listened to the views of people in the Archdeaconry of Cleveland, I have concluded that it is not possible for me, at this difficult time for our Church, to be a focus for unity.

There has been a suspicion, however, that Farther North's broader lack of loyalty to the Church of England may have played a part in his decision. Certainly his commitment to Anglicanism does not seem very deep. He does not apparently realise that the unitive vocation of the bishop is one of the Church of England's many quaint legal fictions, and that our practice is to talk a lot about about consultation - and to complain when consultation is lacking - but not to pay any attention to what people actually say, which would be a breach of the privileges of the clergy.

Rorate Caeli

This advertisement was placed in the press last week by a major British institution:

If the qualities that make a good Archbishop were obvious, 
they wouldn't make a very good Archbishop.

Elect to Leave

In a secret location somewhere in the Province of Canterbury the Crown Nominations Commission meets today to select the next Primate. 

Secretly filmed footage has reached Plumstead Rectory of the moment when the Chairman of the Commission, Lord Luce, reviews the shortlist:

Precedents, Not Presidents

In his interview with Benedict Brogan, the Archbishop of Canterbury suggests the need for a presidential figure to take charge of the day-to-day affairs of the so-called Anglican Communion.

Let us leave aside, for the moment, the question of what those day-to-day duties might be, and whether they need to be done. Let us leave aside the practical implausibility of getting so-called Anglicans to agree on the person, or the duties. Let us leave aside the dubious distinction Dr Williams makes between “executive” and “spiritual” authority: a distinction which suggests he is not very familiar with the office and work of a bishop.

The White Rose and the Purple

Belated congratulations to Canon Glyn Webster, after the announcement last week that heis to be the next Bishop of Beverley. After the late nomination of Dr Warner to Chichester (admittedly a not un-poisoned chalice) that makes two good appointments together. They must be putting something in the water at the Wash House; indeed simply to find two Anglo-Catholics in a row who are not actually insane speaks well for the diligence of their search.

Willing to Vote for Their Own Demise

 

The previous government attempted the reform of the House of Lords in two stages, but succeeded only in the first. All that the last government could achieve was the disgraceful expulsion of the hereditary peers, except the ninety-two happily redeemed by the present Marquess of Salisbury. No-one could agree on what should replace the hybrid arrangements left after 1999, and they cannot agree on it now.

I'm the Guy Who Found the Lost Cause

Government proposals for altering the nature of marriage have been made, which no member of the Church of England can possibly accept. These proposals are incoherent and badly drafted; and we believe that to impose a new meaning on a term so familiar and fundamental as “marriage” would be deeply unwise.

We refer, of course, to proposals by the unelected Lord Hardwicke to require the registration of marriages as a condition that they be legally recognised.

Our Place in the Church of England

It has been a week of anniversaries. Today, of course, is the 59^th anniversary of the Coronation of Her Majesty the Queen; a strange number to celebrate with such festivities as this weekend’s, but it is all grist to the royalist mill. On Tuesday was the anniversary (the 352^nd) of the wonderful Restoration of the late King Charles, and if my acquaintance is anything to go by, this is being even more widely celebrated than the Diamond Jubilee.

That shortlist in full

 You knew there would be leaks. That shortlist in full:

1. The Archbishop of York
2. The Bishop of London
3. The Dean of St Albans
4. The Reverend Richard Coles
5. ecumenically-minded, Benedict XVI
6. if His Holiness is busy, substitute Fr Z.
7. Why a cleric? Try Frank Field
8. by far the best qualified, the ubiquitous David Lindsay
9. for the full St Ambrose, Baroness Warsi

and realising that the law would have to be changed to allow the Baroness:

10. like a squarson of old, appointing herself, Elizabeth II