Some Overdue Spiritual Influence

Doubtless to the disappointment of our peculiar readership, but because of the day, our theme will be secular affairs, and purely ecclesiastical subjects will have to wait for another.

Not that Trespassers W, our latter-day Dr Codex, has not been busy in the internal affairs of the Church. Time would fail me to tell of the preferments of the Bishop of Stockport and Canon White (for those who like that sort of thing), of Prebendary Thomas (for those who really don’t) and of Farther North (so good they nominated him twice), of the Archdeacon of Hackney (for those who don’t think suffragan bishops really count; by far the soundest proposition on offer). And words fail me (because of excitement, of course) to tell of the Bishop of Islington (for those who think the Church of England needs more small under-resourced organisations) and the Bishop of Richmond (because if episcopacy is good, even more episcopacy must be better).

Ding Dong

The funeral of Lady Thatcher (pictured above) took place this week. The interpretation of her memory has divided commentators over whether she was divisive or not. Both her detractors and defenders have been given ample airtime to elucidate matters; but the quasi-Manichean nature of the discussion (of which the lady herself would perhaps have approved) does not seem well-adapted to increasing anyone's understanding.

Sic Transit Benedict (inter caetera)

We know that some readers have been troubled by the non-appearance of a letter from Plumstead, worrying that we had been silenced by Royal Charter. Do not be afraid: for us the carnival is not over (though taking in the Church of England the more vernacular form of the Feast of Fools) and we will continue to tell you what to think abut the great issues of Church and State.

Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride of Christ

Followers of the odder doings of the Church of England have to run to keep up at the moment. Yesterday, while we were considering restructuring for mission, the House of Bishops was getting on with the core business of the Church: tinkering with her own internal workings. 

Small-Town Richard III

The Church of England, desperately out of touch as always, is spending all its energy today debating women and banking, and failing to make any comment on the real concerns of modern people, such as the reburial of kings – a subject which, to be honest, should play right to our strengths. 

So-Called Anglicans to Watch in 2013

The quasi-traditional list of ten:


Firstly, in the House of Bishops:

10. The Master of Magdalene

Retired archbishops' opinions are, of course, always listened to with much more interest and attention than serving ones'. Dr Williams, we are sure, will blossom during 2013, and we look forward to his contribution to the church's task of undermining Dr Welby. We predict that when the latter is forced into retirement the Master will still be young enough for a comeback tour, and expect him to be reappointed to Canterbury, fully refreshed, in about 2020.

Promotion Cometh Not For The North

We were surprised and saddened to hear the news that the Revd Philip North has withdrawn his acceptance of the post of Bishop of Whitby, citing the divisiveness of the current debate about women bishops. Farther North commented:

in the light of the recent vote in the General Synod and having listened to the views of people in the Archdeaconry of Cleveland, I have concluded that it is not possible for me, at this difficult time for our Church, to be a focus for unity.

There has been a suspicion, however, that Farther North's broader lack of loyalty to the Church of England may have played a part in his decision. Certainly his commitment to Anglicanism does not seem very deep. He does not apparently realise that the unitive vocation of the bishop is one of the Church of England's many quaint legal fictions, and that our practice is to talk a lot about about consultation - and to complain when consultation is lacking - but not to pay any attention to what people actually say, which would be a breach of the privileges of the clergy.

This Just In

Congratulations to the Bishop of Norwich, and to the people of the diocese of Canterbury, who are not, it seems, to have him as their bishop. How pleasant it must be to find that their wishes coincide.

We speculate, in the now-traditional manner, whether there might not be so much pleasure at Bishopthorpe, especially as the supposed nominee first held a dignity in the diocese of Liverpool, and went to a school founded by Henry VI. Of course, we will not stoop to name him, but we can therefore, we are led to believe, chalk this one up for Lancashire, and so happily scotch the Plumstead Rectory theory of patronage.

Rorate Caeli

This advertisement was placed in the press last week by a major British institution:

If the qualities that make a good Archbishop were obvious, 
they wouldn't make a very good Archbishop.

Apostolical Succession

Congratulations to Philip North, Rector of St Pancras; whose excellent transport links have taken him, not in a continental direction as some had feared, but along domestic lines to be Bishop of Whitby.

Farther North gets no points for going to any of the right colleges, and his links to the Diocese of York have so far been minimal, but we are very glad that he is now to be allowed entry to the Elysium. Great things clearly await, as indeed they should.

We commend also the Archbishop of York for the swiftness with which this excellent appointment has been made. It remains possible that Dr Sentamu is trying to prove to someone the decisive nature of his leadership, for reasons which remain opaque. Or it may be that it just doesn’t take that long to look up the name of the next Administrator of the Shrine of Our Lady of Walsingham in the list. Whether Cleveland is ready for an Australian in about ten years’ time remains to be seen.

Elect to Leave

In a secret location somewhere in the Province of Canterbury the Crown Nominations Commission meets today to select the next Primate. 

Secretly filmed footage has reached Plumstead Rectory of the moment when the Chairman of the Commission, Lord Luce, reviews the shortlist:

Precedents, Not Presidents

In his interview with Benedict Brogan, the Archbishop of Canterbury suggests the need for a presidential figure to take charge of the day-to-day affairs of the so-called Anglican Communion.

Let us leave aside, for the moment, the question of what those day-to-day duties might be, and whether they need to be done. Let us leave aside the practical implausibility of getting so-called Anglicans to agree on the person, or the duties. Let us leave aside the dubious distinction Dr Williams makes between “executive” and “spiritual” authority: a distinction which suggests he is not very familiar with the office and work of a bishop.

The White Rose and the Purple

Belated congratulations to Canon Glyn Webster, after the announcement last week that heis to be the next Bishop of Beverley. After the late nomination of Dr Warner to Chichester (admittedly a not un-poisoned chalice) that makes two good appointments together. They must be putting something in the water at the Wash House; indeed simply to find two Anglo-Catholics in a row who are not actually insane speaks well for the diligence of their search.

That shortlist in full

 You knew there would be leaks. That shortlist in full:

1. The Archbishop of York
2. The Bishop of London
3. The Dean of St Albans
4. The Reverend Richard Coles
5. ecumenically-minded, Benedict XVI
6. if His Holiness is busy, substitute Fr Z.
7. Why a cleric? Try Frank Field
8. by far the best qualified, the ubiquitous David Lindsay
9. for the full St Ambrose, Baroness Warsi

and realising that the law would have to be changed to allow the Baroness:

10. like a squarson of old, appointing herself, Elizabeth II