Please Strike Out Anglicans of Whom You Disapprove

To the Editor of the Church Times:

As a liberal/moderate/conservative/ignorant
retired archbishop/ordinary lay person/Theosophist
I am deeply upset/disgusted/excited
by the women bishops/gays/changes to the flower rota/Hanoverian succession.
If our mission to society is to be taken seriously it is imperative that we have more
Fresh Expressions/public school men/petunias/verses of the national anthem
and fewer bishops/strategies/Victorian buildings.
To this end I call upon the General Synod this week to
take decisive action/display masterly inactivity
If only we had more leadership of the calibre of
Rowan Atkinson/Andronicus and Junia/HM the Queen/Christopher Haffner, Reader
we would not be in this mess/exciting opportunity.
Despite this my own parish church continues to thrive/die/be as irrelevant as ever
without any help from Lambeth/Synod/lay people.

Yours etc.