Ladies of Ill Repute and of Good Repute

When I was a child my father did a lot of travelling on business (yes, we defenders of privilege at Plumstead Rectory spring from the commercial classes). At that time hotels were very vigilant about guests entertaining visitors in their rooms, whether from moral or financial motives, or both. It was not uncommon for the manager to call round late at night, asking sternly “have you got a woman in your room, sir?”

My father maintained the theory that there were two classes of hotel for business travellers: the better sort, where if one answered “yes” to this question the lady would be asked to leave, and the seedier sort, where if one answered “no” a lady would be thrown in.

Friends of Buckingham

Readers of recent posts may have noticed, as we did, the uncanny similarity between the Dean of St Albans (above right) and James I (above left). Separated brethren?

Posing as a Jacobite

In the life of every blog there comes the time to do some navel-gazing theological reflection, reviewing the subject-matter and reach of the site, and developing some conclusions. This is, we suppose, a largely fruitless as well as a self-absorbed tradition, but we are not in the business of questioning tradition here.

We advertise our letters as containing Anglo-catholicism, reaction and whimsy; but like all Church of England publications we actually cover mostly the gays, internal church politics, and nostalgia for an impossibly golden age. For most Anglicans this utopia is the 1950s: for us, true to form, the 1670s. Or possibly the 1630s. Certainly not the 1650s, though.

Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride of Christ

Followers of the odder doings of the Church of England have to run to keep up at the moment. Yesterday, while we were considering restructuring for mission, the House of Bishops was getting on with the core business of the Church: tinkering with her own internal workings. 

Small-Town Richard III

The Church of England, desperately out of touch as always, is spending all its energy today debating women and banking, and failing to make any comment on the real concerns of modern people, such as the reburial of kings – a subject which, to be honest, should play right to our strengths. 

Of the People

It has been said of us that, although dealing much in sacred things, we refuse to be pious about any subject. Yet, as our royal martyr might have said himself, a sovereign is no subject; and today of all days we are grave.

We are encouraged that the observance of this anniversary has not degenerated into a nostalgic dead letter, but remains still a matter of political controversy. Yet no synod has resolved that those who assent to the deed are loyal Anglicans as well as those who dissent.

So-Called Anglicans to Watch in 2013

The quasi-traditional list of ten:


Firstly, in the House of Bishops:

10. The Master of Magdalene

Retired archbishops' opinions are, of course, always listened to with much more interest and attention than serving ones'. Dr Williams, we are sure, will blossom during 2013, and we look forward to his contribution to the church's task of undermining Dr Welby. We predict that when the latter is forced into retirement the Master will still be young enough for a comeback tour, and expect him to be reappointed to Canterbury, fully refreshed, in about 2020.

Promotion Cometh Not For The North

We were surprised and saddened to hear the news that the Revd Philip North has withdrawn his acceptance of the post of Bishop of Whitby, citing the divisiveness of the current debate about women bishops. Farther North commented:

in the light of the recent vote in the General Synod and having listened to the views of people in the Archdeaconry of Cleveland, I have concluded that it is not possible for me, at this difficult time for our Church, to be a focus for unity.

There has been a suspicion, however, that Farther North's broader lack of loyalty to the Church of England may have played a part in his decision. Certainly his commitment to Anglicanism does not seem very deep. He does not apparently realise that the unitive vocation of the bishop is one of the Church of England's many quaint legal fictions, and that our practice is to talk a lot about about consultation - and to complain when consultation is lacking - but not to pay any attention to what people actually say, which would be a breach of the privileges of the clergy.

Liberty Hall for Tender Consciences

It is proposed that the clergy of the Church of England should from now on refuse all requests for weddings, in protest at the Government's announcement on same-sex marriages and the Church. At Plumstead Rectory we are very enthusiastic about this proposal. We always like a frisson of illegality, and we think it part of a good old tradition to offer ourselves to be martyred by our own canon law.

Remember, Remember

I see no reason why treason should ever be forgot. We are baffled, therefore, that no-one remembers the events of November 5th, when a small and unrepresentative group of plotters, backed by foreign arms, conspired to overthrow the legitimate government of this kingdom.

We are not referring to the events of 1605, of course. Pace Marx, the first conspiracy ended in farce; the repeat in tragedy. But treason never prospers, we suppose. 

Still, the father, the son, and the grandson? Wherefore this rage and strife? O, the perils of false brethren, indeed!

Remember. Remember.

Many Happy Returns

We have successfully resisted every invader for the last 1000 years, according to the Prime Minister. Alas, not quite. Birthday wishes to him who was natum Regem Anglorum.

Olympiolae in Olympia: the Real Medal Table

There is great excitement at the apparent successes of what I suppose we must call “Team GB”, but we fear this is misplaced. Team GB are said to be in third place in the medal table, but as far as we can tell the current standings, with two days to go, really look like this:

1. USA (so-called): two gold (pygme and decathalon) , one silver (decathalon).

2. Jamaica: one each of gold, silver and bronze (all in the stadion)

3. (=) Grenada (gold in the diaulos) and Russia (provisionally gold in the pale)

5. (=) the Dominican Republic, Japan, and Team GB (silver respectively in the diaulos, pale and pygme)

8. (=) Trinidad, Cuba, Ireland and Iran (bronzes in the diaulos, decathalon, pygme and pale)

Willing to Vote for Their Own Demise

 

The previous government attempted the reform of the House of Lords in two stages, but succeeded only in the first. All that the last government could achieve was the disgraceful expulsion of the hereditary peers, except the ninety-two happily redeemed by the present Marquess of Salisbury. No-one could agree on what should replace the hybrid arrangements left after 1999, and they cannot agree on it now.

Willing to Love All Mankind

The Great Doctor writes, in a well-known passage:

How any man can have consented to institutions established in distant ages, it will be difficult to explain. In the most favourite residence of liberty, the consent of individuals is merely passive; a tacit admission, in every community, of the terms which that community grants and requires. As all are born the subjects of some state or other, we may be said to have been all born consenting to some system of government. Other consent than this the condition of civil life does not allow. It is the unmeaning clamour of the pedants of policy, the delirious dream of republican fanaticism.

Quite right, and the pedants of policy and the delirious dreamers are still clamouring, on both sides of the Atlantic.

Over the Water

We never expect much good news at Plumstead Rectory, but we can't see any downside to this. The country has, in the Great Doctor's words, been fairly polled, and the hereditary right of the sacred monarch is acclaimed by the people. Not only that, but the sovereign power has been used, not as it more usually is to oppress and destroy, but for the protection of the weakest. And in this the people have also heartily concurred. D.G.

Sadly none of this has occurred in the life of our own dear constitution, but in a far-away land of which we know little. Nonetheless, rejoicing with them, we find the Principality of Liechenstein to be more and more to our liking. Others may wish the United Kingdom to become more like the United States of America, Scandinavia, or Singapore, but the reactionary choice must now be clear.

Our Place in the Church of England

It has been a week of anniversaries. Today, of course, is the 59^th anniversary of the Coronation of Her Majesty the Queen; a strange number to celebrate with such festivities as this weekend’s, but it is all grist to the royalist mill. On Tuesday was the anniversary (the 352^nd) of the wonderful Restoration of the late King Charles, and if my acquaintance is anything to go by, this is being even more widely celebrated than the Diamond Jubilee.

Happy St Edward's Day

Happy St Edward, King and Martyr's Day. This is a day for all of us to be thankful for our anointed monarchs. Have you sent your king or queen a card (available from all good stationers) and bunch of daffodils to let them know how much you love them? A call to his or her private secretary will also be appreciated.

It is, of course, a terrible Americanism to call it Edwarding Sunday.

That shortlist in full

 You knew there would be leaks. That shortlist in full:

1. The Archbishop of York
2. The Bishop of London
3. The Dean of St Albans
4. The Reverend Richard Coles
5. ecumenically-minded, Benedict XVI
6. if His Holiness is busy, substitute Fr Z.
7. Why a cleric? Try Frank Field
8. by far the best qualified, the ubiquitous David Lindsay
9. for the full St Ambrose, Baroness Warsi

and realising that the law would have to be changed to allow the Baroness:

10. like a squarson of old, appointing herself, Elizabeth II